We all have heard about toxic relationship and ways to get out of it. However, do you know there are toxic friendships, too? Many would ask, is it even a thing? Yes, it is. It is just as horrible to have a toxic friendship as it is to be in a toxic relationship. As it is rightly said, “Two best friends make two best enemies”, it’s important to understand how friendships, like romantic relationships, can turn toxic, and what are the red flags to look out for and ways to pull out from toxic friendships.
Fighting more than the usual? Having arguments that are lasting weeks? Is this happening recently? For sure this can be a sign of being fed up with each other as you are now enjoying standing your ground and are going to be all stringent about it.
Having fights that often escalate into hurtful verbal abuse? Having more taunts than arguments and logic? Fighting as if you are spitting poison at each other? This is an unhealthy sign and a big red flag.
We all want to be chased when we are angry. It sounds dramatic but making up after a fight is more tedious than the fight itself and once you lose out on the will, hope and energy to reason with the person in front of you, you get to know that it’s over.
Taking for granted
One seems too lost in this battle of proving themselves right, that when they do realize they thought the person would never walk out on them, they have pushed the wrong buttons and crossed all limits, and it is only time they get a reaction for their actions.
Some people are too guilt-free to realize the above factors as they have adopted the “Out of sight, out of mind” strategy. In such cases, generally away from college or job at a distance, they tend to have other people who slowly sabotage your life. It is hurtful at the start and one learns to live with it eventually.
Now as hurtful as it is to be on the receiving end of this, there are many ways to get out of this too, slowly and steadily:
Talk about expectations
We all are humans, who give and want basic emotions in return, but we need to learn to express it instead of letting the other assume as sometimes you need to speak, no one would just get you like that as it is real life and not the movies.
No second chances
Once you have had the talk and still are treated the same, do not give second chances for any apologies or drunk texts and calls as they are just moments of weakness that can ruin your emotional strength forever.
Once you are done, do not avoid, instead face your worst fears and be open about what happened, regret the bad and appreciate the good, cherish the memories together and then decide if it is better this way being at peace or being so close and still so emotionally distant.
Give a closure
Friendships, like relationships, deserve a closure, else they gnaw out our self-esteem and mental health. Keep an open ear for criticism and feel free to criticize, encourage moving on along with acknowledging the pain you will go through.
Self-love and working on yourself is the mantra and answer to your question of the coping mechanism. Know that what happened was unfortunate but being in it would have wasted a lot of your time which you could have used to accomplish something great in life.
A friendship in no way should control you, it should instead liberate you from your everyday rendezvous if not helping you through your daily struggles as “We all have a battle to fight, and great friends make for a great team”.