4 Tips to deal with an overthinker

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We all know that one person who overthinks everything. While there are many reasons that lead to overthinking, deception is one of the most common. People who have deceived or hurt you in any way in the past have forced you to overthink every decision you make in present relationships or doubt anything that your partner says or does to make sure you do not end up getting hurt again.

This is why, it might get a little tough to deal with a person who overthinks every little thing, and honestly, at one point, it might get annoying too. However, if you have a partner who is an overthinker, it’s important to understand where they are coming from and help them deal with this habit.

Here are 4 of the most important points you should remember and practice while dealing with an overthinker so that you can build up trust and ease their misery as well.

1. Reassure

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All an overthinker wants is to know that you still love them. They might believe that you love them but their overthinking can make them question it at times and hence you giving them reassurance once in a while about your love towards them would not hurt. Always reassure them of the things that bother them. Tell them to trust you and that you trust them. Show them you love them so that they can believe you. You might not be someone who is very good at expressing yourself, but now when you are involved with an overthinking partner you might have to come out of your comfort zone and express yourself more than ever before for their sanity. 

2. Communicate

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Reassuring is not possible if you do not know what the other person is thinking. Encourage them to communicate about the things that they overthink and try not to get mad. Instead explain what is actually going on or what you meant to say, whatever the given situation is. Communicating properly and clearly is the only way you can make an overthinker think less. You should not shy away from sharing your own feelings and thoughts with them and also try to build an atmosphere where they can do the same.

3. Don’t say anything you don’t actually mean

If you are involved with an overthinking partner you should be quite aware of everything you say because you don’t know what might hit them and affect them adversely. This does not mean that you should be lying to them for the sake of not hurting them instead you should not just ramble about anything that you don’t really mean. This is advisable because overthinkers tend to find meaning in everything no matter how petty the thing is to you.

4. Never tell them to stop overthinking

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Do you really think that your partner’s overthinking is in their own hands? Do you think that when you tell them to stop overthinking they really stop overthinking magically? Well, the answer is no. Your partner can’t really control his/her overthinking and constantly telling them to do so is going to make things worse. It just portrays that you yourself are trying to run away from things that are surely not helping them in any manner. So, just stop labeling your partner as an overthinker and accept things how they are, and strive to help them with them.

Remember that overthinking will not just go away in a day, it is a deep-rooted fear, a defense mechanism, and even little things like a slight change in tone will make an overthinker overthink. So, it has to be handled patiently and delicately in an attempt to make it better and not worse.