Motherhood is undoubtedly a beautiful phase. However, along with happiness, it brings about constant fear, anxiety, and whatnot. And during such a sensitive time, an already struggling mother receives unending advice. Be it about how to juggle motherhood, or how to handle a newborn, a new mother is constantly told what to and whatnot.
However, amid all this, we often forget that a new mother is the most sensitive of all. Hence, it’s always advisable to be careful of our words while advising a new mother.
Here is a list of things that we should never say to a new mother because it can add up to her self-doubt and stress.
Take naps only when the baby is asleep
Being a mother requires 24/7 dedication. It is not easy to wake up the whole night taking care of the baby. Changing diapers and feeding the baby is a full-time job. As a result, a mother has to stay up most of the time and does not get enough sleep. And that is why we should never tell a mother when to sleep. For instance, the baby might be asleep when the mother is in the shower, now, what do we expect the mother to do? Sleep in the shower? Exactly, no.
The baby does not look like you
This is the most common of all. What do we expect the baby to look like? A perfect carbon copy of his or her parents? That cannot be possible. Also, it breaks the hearts of both of the parents as they see themselves in their baby. And this is the last thing anyone will ever want to hear.
Do you breastfeed your baby?
A new mother can have lactation problems, medical issues, or stress that can stop her from feeding the baby. Also, this is the personal decision of the mother and we should refrain from that. It is mandatory to feed the baby for 6 months after birth, and completely okay to discontinue after that. A mother, however, knows when to stop and we should never ask her such sensitive questions.
Telling her that she looks drained out of energy
Being up 24/7 is not a piece of cake, and in between all of this, it is very obvious that a new mother does not get enough sleep. And no woman wants to listen that she looks miserable or sleepless after that. Telling her that she looks drained out and sleepy is the worst thing anyone can ever say. Instead, compliment her about her dedication, like “ you are doing great.”
Do not worry you will lose weight
A new mother may not be able to shed those extra kilos super fast. A woman is already so conscious about her body, and after the birth of the baby, worries about the baby’s health, care, and future. All of it adds up to this stress. So, in case you are a lady who has a remarkable story of weight loss after giving birth, do not tell this story to this young mother as everybody is different. And also, in case you are a relative or husband, never point out her gained weight. It can make her even more conscious of her looks.
Are you going to continue your job?
A new mother may already be stressed after taking a break from her job and tensed about losing her job. Asking her whether she will continue her job can trigger stress which may lead to the bad health of the mother. These questions may lead her to guilt and mixed thoughts about her decision to continue her job, she may end up thinking that it will affect her baby’s future. It is her personal choice, and we should never ask this question.
Your baby cries a lot
A baby can cry anytime, and anywhere. A mother may spend the whole day taking care of her baby but still might end up with a cranky baby. So, instead of telling her that she has an extremely cranky baby, a mother should be comforted or even offered a helping hand. If none of this is possible, it’s better to stay tightlipped.