Being a part of a domineering relationship is unpleasant. The problematic issue, though, is that the majority of people are unaware of their involvement in a controlling relationship. It’s common to mistake a partner’s controlling conduct for being caring, over-protective, jealous, or old-fashioned. You must be able to distinguish between a bossy partner and someone who really cares about you and wants to talk to you, wants to know about your mood all day.
Someone who truly can’t be without you and wants to know about your well-being all day long will text you frequently and call you whenever they can. If you are not staying together, they will text you first thing in the morning to spend the day with you if you feel like it or have time for it. They will pause their hectic day to get in touch with you and inquire about your well-being. When the day is through, they will be eager to meet you.
On the other hand, a control freak partner wants to be with you always. But rather than wanting to talk to you, they will always have a question out of insecurity and fear. They just want to make sure they still have you. Even when you are out with your family and friends, a considerate partner will offer you some privacy. However, a controlling partner will interrupt you with his frequent texts and calls to make everyone feel that they are not as important as his texts and calls.
A controlling partner will always try to ruin your social event. He or she will try to influence your behavior through chastisement. They will become irritated every time you don’t pay them your entire attention, which will probably result in a fight or dispute. A loving partner is more inclined to express their worries openly than to do so covertly by showing rude behavior.
So, what happens to your other relationships?
Each time you go for a social gathering with friends or on a close family reunion, your controlling partner will pick up a fight as you are unable to offer that person your complete attention. So, you gradually begin to avoid your buddies. You will have to make sure that your partner has no issues and is convenient with the plans only then will you be able to plan your outings with others. That’s a big task in itself.
Additionally, you will also have to make sure your partner is busy on the day you have scheduled a meeting with your close ones. In this whole process, you will end up losing your other relationship, which is equally precious as you will not be able to spend time with them as much as you used to. In fact, after understanding your partner’s behavior, your friends might start making distance with you on their own. You’ll soon become aware of how hesitant you are. And that’s simply not a healthy way to live.
A controlling partner’s real face comes forward once you are completely in love with them, and they know you can’t leave them. Soon they will change into an abusive partner who will not take second in criticizing you. It could be something as minor as how you drink water or something offensive about your career choice. They will be hurtful in their criticism and won’t even be apologetic about it.
Most of the time, it becomes difficult to identify these red flags because, of course, you are in love. But as soon as you do it, it’s important to confront your partner about it. If this doesn’t help and your partner tries to pick a fight with you, move out of the situation for that moment. You can try bringing up the issue once again to your partner; if he or she does not understand the issue, it’s better to make the bold move and call it quits.
While this might sound horrendous to you, if you are dealing with such offensive and controlling behavior from your partner, it’s always better to get out of it as soon as possible for your mental peace and well-being. If that’s not something you want to do immediately, seek professional help. Go for a counseling session with your partner, it might help.