Men and women, who are getting married, need to understand that everyone is different, people have different characteristics, different qualities, and different likes and dislikes. Just like how we respect and honor our own likes and dislikes and our characteristics, we should respect the other person’s qualities, likes, and dislikes. How can one be a clone of you!
As per the Law of Attraction, if you try to change the other person, even he will try to change you. Like attracts like, so if you don’t like something about yourself, you don’t like that in the other person as well and you would want to change the other person. Similarly, the person wouldn’t like something about himself or herself and he wouldn’t like that in you and he or she would like to change that about you.
The cascading and the downfall of a relationship starts at point one so if you want to work on anything, work on yourself. Accept yourself, embrace yourself and start loving yourself the way you are and the way you are not. When you start accepting yourself, you can start being compatible with someone else. Being comfortable with yourself and being in love with yourself becomes a base to have a good relationship with your spouse.
You need to start loving yourself and stop focusing on the qualities that you don’t have. Start embracing the qualities that you do have by being grateful for yourself. For example, you have two eyes and you are beautiful, you have teeth, you have two legs because of which you can walk. You can be grateful that you are educated and you can be grateful for having your parents by your side.
This brings the light inside you and once you get enlightened, you can make any relationship, be it with your spouse or any other relationship, lit. If you yourself have darkness inside you, maybe you don’t like your nose or you don’t like your hair or you don’t like your career or you don’t like your confidence and you are complaining about everything, you might get the best person or family, you will always find negativity in the other person. So, start feeling grateful and honored for yourself and everything about you and be grateful for your own accomplishments. This is the start!
Then start feeling grateful for your partner, for the qualities that they have because of which you have selected them. You could also write it in your notebook. For example: I am thankful for my husband for his caring nature. I am thankful to my husband for paying the electricity bill and for bringing groceries from the market. When you start thanking someone for small things, they feel good and then they try to do better.
Find out small positive things and be grateful for them. Stop complaining in your relationships. This will bring light to the relationship. But first, you yourself should have the light to enlighten any relationship. So love yourself and be grateful for as many things you can be in a relationship and you will soon see magic in them.
(The author is Aashmeen Kaur Munjaal, Ontologist & Spiritual Metaphysics Expert, Shukrana Gratitude Foundation)