You should consider yourself lucky if you were able to get through your daughter’s middle school without having to hear about the awkward boyfriend situation. You, as a mother, may also have to play the role of mediator at times for the weird situation developing between your daughter and her father at this time.
So here are some tips for you on how to deal with your daughter’s first boyfriend.
1. Accept that the day has finally come
The first and foremost step you have to take when you see your daughter getting into that stage of making boyfriends is to prepare yourself and accept that your little girl is now a bit grown and ready for the romance pool. This could be the hardest step for you as a mother, but it is also the most important step as well. Therefore, before indulging with your daughter about this issue, indulge with your own self to have a better grip on the whole situation.
2. Talk but don’t lecture
Talking about the situation your daughter is going through right now is important, but this does not mean that you are going to lash out at her for having a boyfriend or rant to her about all those moral values that you believe in because your daughter may actually have different values than you. This can make her lose trust in you, and that too for a long time. You may not be happy about her having a boyfriend, but there is a way of stating that fact and respecting her decision.
3. Build a bond and encourage her to be open about the relationship
Your daughter came up to you to talk about her boyfriend, she surely must have some expectations, and it becomes a duty of yours to respect and appreciate that. All this states that your daughter trusts you and wants to be open about her relationship unless and until you suppress her with your harsh words.
4. Set boundaries
You surely need to pay attention to what you are going to tolerate and what not and make it clear to your daughter as well as her boyfriend so that things don’t go downhill and stay inside the terms of what you and your daughter decided. Setting boundaries can really help both you and your daughter in different ways.
5. Talk about her time and money investment in the relationship
You, as a mother, need to talk about things like money as well as the time investment of your daughter in her new relationship as this can really affect the future she holds. You not only need to talk but also keep a check on this time and money investment.
6. Stay calm and polite to the boyfriend
If there comes the point where you have to meet your daughter’s boyfriend, you should surely consider being polite and friendly. You should not behave like you have personal grudges against him and that you just hate him. Being friendly yet firm is what you should opt for.