Nicole Kidman says she was ‘struggling’ with Tom Cruise divorce when she won 2003 Oscar

Nicole Kidman
Credits: Nicole Kidman/Instagram

Reflecting on a complex period of her life, Nicole Kidman admitted that she was grappling with a difficult time in her personal life when she took home an Oscar for her role in ‘The Hours’. The actress, 56, and Tom Cruise, 61, had finalized their divorce after 11 years of marriage sometime before her win, as per E! Online.

“I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well,” Nicole told author Dave Karger in his new book 50 Oscar Nights, as per People. “That’s what happens, right?” Kidman shares daughter Isabella, 30, and son Connor, 28, with her ex-husband.

During her acceptance speech for Best Actress for her role as Virginia Woolf, Kidman became emotional, as she told the audience, “Russell Crowe said, ‘Don’t cry when you get up there,’ and now I’m crying.”

Nicole Kidman did not truly celebrate her win

After her grand win, Kidman recalled being not quite up to celebrate her achievement in her book. “I’m not a big party girl, so I was going to skip the Vanity Fair party,” she said, “and everyone was like, ‘You’ve got to go. You’ve got to walk through the party carrying your Academy Award.”

She went on, “I said, ‘That just feels like gloating, and it doesn’t feel humble.’ Like, what? You can’t walk through carrying the award! That feels really inappropriate. They’re like, ‘That’s what you do.'” And while Kidman did what she was told, she wasn’t entirely present in the moment.

“I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn’t enjoy it,” she explained. “I was almost apologetic, which is so stupid. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.”

Kidman realized she needed ‘love in my life’

After leaving the party, Kidman had a realization. “I went home and ended up ordering takeout and eating it on the floor of the Beverly Hills Hotel,” she shared. “I sat on the floor of the hotel eating French fries and a burger with my family and went to bed. That’s when it hit me. I went, I need to find my love; I need a love in my life.”

The ‘Pretty Little Lies’ star added, “Because this is supposed to be when you go, ‘This is ours.’ I went to bed alone; I was in bed before midnight. If I ever won again, I’m telling you, I’d be out for 24 hours.”

Kidman wed Keith Urban in 2006

Kidman is currently married to Keith Urban, whom she wed in 2006. The couple shares two daughters, Sunday, 14, and Faith, 12.

“Meeting her and getting married wasn’t life-changing, it was life-beginning,” Keith shared about Kidman to CBS News in 2016. “It was literally, like, ‘OK, life starts.'”


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