Every parent of two, or more, dreams of their children becoming literal BFFs and sharing their clothes and toys and protecting each other from those big fat bullies, but this is not the case most of the time. Sibling fights are common, no matter what, and this just adds to the bond. So, if you are a parent, let your children fight and don’t worry about it much.
However, the red flag is when these cute or even ugly fights start transitioning into rivalry. As the seeds of negative feelings like jealousy are sown, siblings often indulge in rivalry, but this can be prevented.
So, today on Siblings Day, we will be talking about some of the most common causes of sibling rivalry and how it can be prevented.
1. Parents comparing the siblings
Parents often don’t realize it, but they do indulge in making comparisons among their children, that too because of some petty reasons like academics or something. Parents need to realize that everyone has different personalities, interests, and hobbies, and so do their children, and this should be respected by them; otherwise, this might lead to sibling rivalry in the future.
2. Attention being divided
The problem of sibling rivalry starts usually when one sibling is getting more attention than the other. It usually is when one child becomes the center of attention of the whole family whereas the other is neglected, and parents put in all efforts to fulfill the desires of that one child. The other child usually ends up getting jealous, and sibling rivalry starts to grow.
3. Their individual temperaments
You, as a parent, are not accountable for each and everything that goes into your child’s life, and therefore it may also be true that you are not the reason for the brooding rivalry between them. It may be caused because of your child’s personality, IQ, character, and mood as well. These things can also affect their personality of getting along with other people leading to sibling rivalry.
4. Issues going on in parent’s life
You might be ignoring this, but it is not very wise of you to ignore the fact that the issues going on in your life is affecting the life of your children. If your lives as parents are stressful, it may account for you not giving proper attention and time to your children, making them feel depressed and slowly developing the poison of jealousy and negative competition, which affects their relationship with their siblings.
5. Gender preferences
Certain cultures out there seem to disregard one gender more than the other, which makes one gender feel superior and the other feel resentment towards them, further contributing to sibling rivalry.
6. No sharing values
If you are not cultivating good values like sharing in your child, it is meant to hit you back someday, which is the same case when your child refuses to share things with their own sibling leading them to not like each other.
7. Constant verbal abuse
You often tend to focus more on the physical abuse and fights between your children and ignore the verbal abuse. But you should not ignore the consequence this verbal abuse would have in the future if not taken seriously at the moment. This verbal abuse not being discouraged by you will, definitely, add to the sibling rivalry one day or the other.
So, if you find your children hating each other, it might be a sign of sibling rivalry, and it should be addressed immediately. Sit back with your children, find out what’s disturbing them, be patient with them, listen to what everyone has to say, and come to a conclusion. Make sure you are paying equal attention to all your children and are not biased towards one.